Dear Jess Tell, 2010,

Budget wisely next year so that you feel no pressure to work during Pride, the Mermaid Parade, FSE, or the 4th of July. You think that stuff is no big deal, when in fact it is a great time to see friends & remember what fun is.

Thanks,
The working not-too-much-but-certainly-at-inconvenient-times,
Jess Tell 2009



Today Joey Chestnut set a new world record at Coney Island for eating 68 hot dogs in 10 minutes. http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/2009/07/04/2009-07-04_nathans_.html
I like that guy. :) Not exactly the most graceful piece of history i've ever been witness to, but glorious all the same.

I was really happy to be back on a bike today after Santos fixed my bike for me! We rode to Park Slope & went to Andrew's BBQ. I've been IN LOVE with Andrew's apartment for years. Brooklyn brownstone with a private backyard. The bathroom has a corner Jacuzzi bathtub that could easily fit 4 people. It is so swank. For some damn reason, Andrew & his roomies are moving to Red Hook. Booo.
At the BBQ i met Jonathan & i was so very very charmed. He was one of the ultimate man-hostesses. I could refer to him as a host, but that doesn't really reflect how much grandeur i think should be in his title. Unfortunately i couldn't stay for much food, but what i did have was WONDERFUL.

I also got to meet Orson, a pretty & charismatic man born in Caracas, Venezuela. He's the head bartender at Apoteke & watching him make cocktails is like watching a magician or a laboratory scientist. AND his drinks were delicious.

I was really sad to leave so early to go to work. I thought I could get out of here pretty fast (they're paying time & a half today so they usually try to push people out the door as quickly as possible). But every time i'm about to leave, the manager gives me another assignment or changes my assignment to a later one.
The nicest thing about being here is that my office is on the 12th floor and i had a pretty great view of some of the fireworks show.

I hope everyone had a great 4th of July & if any of you NYers have leftovers from your BBQ, please send it this way. :)

Last night i had a dream about being kidnapped by Billy Mays.

This afternoon, i found out that he's dead. At only 50, just like MJ. No cause of death, yet.

Man.

The cult of the celebrity is often useful & this week it's brought into focus how relevant mortality is.

I just saw Billy Mays a couple of weeks ago in Madison Square Park during the BBQ festival, handing out OxiClean samples in case anyone got sauce on their clothes. I've spent hours staring at his face & didn't expect it could be gone so soon.

He was more the average guy turned celebrity than any kind of superstar & that's what i find so striking about his death: realizing that thousands of other average faces are losing their light at this moment. It's not good to dwell too long on death, but channeling proportion is also good for a state of being. When i heard that MJ died, it made me feel the opposite of materialistic & superficial things seemed...well, superficial.

Listening to country music today i realized i am wedged firmly in between two versions of the American dream: to either grind in my boot heel & make a mark as a legend, or to just lead a good, simple life full of good, maybe-not-so-simple deeds.

In other news, i now possess three bicycles, but due to the thoughtlessness of others, i can't ride any of them. Time to get my hands dirty & Frankenstein a bike together.

I want something new & i want something so so old. My eyes are blue & my dreams are borrowed.

I've forgotten what this journal is for. Hm. When i read really old entries, i think about starting a new one because a very new consciousness has evolved. But continuity demands i do not ignore my past, as alien as parts of it seem now.

I had a great weekend. Friday was rainy so i stayed inside, journaled in my written book & continued reading Love in the Time of Cholera. I started that book many years ago when i was hoping for something beautiful, but at the time it couldn't live up to One Hundred Years of Solitude. I'm much more receptive to the book now; Marquez is great for summer reading. His aesthetics become apparent: he marks a wise family by their practice of keeping windows closed during hot days & opening them up only for cool night winds.

When Marquez writes about passion, it makes me a little angry & nostalgic. Pietro Crespi is one of my favorite literary characters of all time. Florentino Ariza is not as beautiful to me as Pietro Crespi was, but details of his ardency are just as poignant. He gobbles flower petals & drinks perfume to taste what he thinks his lover tastes like--he ends up laying in a pool of aromatic vomit near the docks.
I remember how i used to love like that; in a devotion that ate me up & crazed logic into a floating ethereal. My stars. I know it's not practical to sustain such practices; i stopped calling myself "lover" or "poet" but the romantic nobility still appeals to me. *sigh*

( Anyway...i had a super weekend. MoCCA, Serenity, & Renegade Craft Fair )

That's the kind of stuff summer should be made of. Oh sigh o, sigh.
For anyone who would like to join me on an adventure, you should come to this tomorrow night because it will be guaranteed awesome: http://secretscienceclub.blogspot.com/

Whew! Okay, yay re-connecting with LJ! Picker-upper of things that don't need to go in my archival journal! :p

The exodus from the touchstone of Madison Street was threefold. Passing that street makes me wince now, but one day it's edges will wear away & dissolve into the electricity of this city & its memories.

I've moved to Greenpoint. For those of you who aren't Brooklynites, it's an area known for its Polish & Italian population, with a fair smattering of Hispanic people & hipsters. This will only be the second time in my life that i've lived in a predominately white area; the other time was last summer when i lived in a very small town in Northeastern Germany. I'm not sure how this is going to feel or if it will feel different at all.

NS: i found this article about the difference between the terms 'Hispanic' & 'Latino' an interesting read because i always stumble over which word to use.

I've had an unusual string of bad luck, lately. I hope this black rain cloud over my head blows away soon.

It's time to be part of the cellphone-able community again.

I've had a Verizon prepaid deal for a long time. The deal i have isn't offered by the company anymore, but they still honor it anyway. It's $0.99 a day with free evenings after 9pm & free calling to other Verizon people whenever. I never figured out how much text messages were, but i would only spend somewhere between $20-40 a month on that phone depending on how active i felt. It had its drawbacks because i'm a cheapskate (esp. when it comes to phones) so i wouldn't call people i wanted to talk to or businesses i needed to contact just because i could watch my money ticking away.

Anyway, i lost the phone & went to a Verizon store & the very disinterested clerk told me that i would have to buy a phone at retail price to be able to keep my old plan, but if i switched to a new plan, the phones would be cheaper. There's no way i'm getting one of their new plans; they are such rip-offs. To get what i had before would be a minimum of $60/mo. Boo.
The clerk told me i only had 3 phones to choose from, all of them ugly, priced at $199, $199, & $280.

I thought about going the route of MetroPCS or Boost Mobile, but that seems like a nationwide scam. I've only heard about how crappy their service is & how much their phones fall apart. I was looking into buying a Boost Mobile starter kit & getting a nicer phone that is compatible, but i know so little about that stuff. I'm still not completely sure what a SIM card is or does.

This is totally why i don't have a phone. When it comes to electronic gizmos & gadgets, i want someone else to arrange it for me. Give me a good ol' fashioned typewriter & a tin can with a string attached & i'll be more in my element.

Hello crafty friends,

I really like a shirt i saw at Old Navy. Problem is, it's a woman's shirt & while some guys can look really cute in cap sleeves, I am not one of them. I don't mind that female-intended shirts fit slimmer, but i was wondering if any of you had any hints on how to change the sleeve & neckline to accommodate my boxier shape.

Hmm, or perhaps i'll just cut it up & sew the whole front onto a standard American Apparel tee. Has anyone done this before? Figured i would ask y'all before i start googling.

Thanks!

This is a link to the shirt

Chef Alexa is SUCH a top!

Sex Cells: An Open Call for Erotic Cell Phone Art, made from the palm of your hand.

In an age where vibrations announce flirtations in the form of texts & conquests are captured with cell phone photos and video, 3rd Ward is challenging you to take it up a notch - a bedpost notch!

This nationwide open call is a search for well-executed, erotic expressions made only with a cell phone. Videos, photos and texts will all be accepted.

$500 will be awarded for the most intriguing submission and all work will be curated into a group show with a huge opening reception! Select submissions will also be published in 3rd Ward's quarterly publication.

Submit now!

www.3rdward.com/sexcells

Free to submit, now through April 15th.

Hey Guys,

I'm moving. Not sure of a new permanent address yet, so mail will just have to be on hold for now.

I'm too tired to write about it right now & really angry that the clock went magically from 1:59am to 3:01am. Booo.

Oh, & the boy & i are still doing great, just to let you know that a break-up was not the reason for the move.

That said, if y'all hear of any rooms in any fabulous apartments in Brooklyn for less than $600/mo, please keep me in mind.

Good night,
Resident of Mad House.

the twee Scot:



my heart is an ode to the "little diddy".

Jess Tell:

1. freezes Oreos.

2. desperately wants a writing desk with many drawers.

3. craves discovery & knowledge.

4. waited to be tagged by 25 people before starting this list.

5. has too many ideas for poems but too much craft to write them down.

6. will probably never stop traveling.

7. is superstitious when it comes to balance & Fate.

8. LOVES Jacoby's yoga class "for all genders".

9. loves roller coasters, especially the wooden ones.

10. has ten piercings.

11. has yet to bake the perfect cookie.

12. remembers the tensions & tastes of twelve people kissed.

13. has learned to let summer into the skin.

14. is loyal but unfaithful.

15. only has one pair of sneakers that fit. And STILL dreams about the gingham Upper Playground Adidas Superstars--the sneaker that got away.

16. is full of the blood of laborers.

17. teeters on the edge of rooftops with bottles of wine in hand.

18. breaks form to avoid pronouns: i believe my boyfriend is a better person than i am.

19. still solves addition problems on fingers.

20. often fantasizes about adopting a brilliant gift for languages.

21. also fantasizes about having the ability to manipulate time.

22. recently gave up dreams of being an artist & is now focusing on philanthropy...which is an art in and of itself.

23. would rather be eating fruit most of the time.

24. wants to design and build a piece of furniture that would make DP more comfortable for everyone involved.

25. dances in underwear to loud music, takes rainy walks without umbrellas, rides bicycles through darkness, and invents cupcakes for any occasion.

I try to be considerate to cab drivers. All of my parents were cab drivers at a point, but the cabbies in NYC are maniac assholes who only care about money & are willing to disregard the safety of everyone around them in order to get more money & caffeine. They're over-caffeinated & over-worked, but right now i don't give a shit.

Today as i was biking to work a cabbie pulled quickly & directly into the bike lane without signaling. I banged hared on his cab, but he kept moving into my lane & i fell into the road. I was furious. I banged on his window, but he wouldn't open up & just sneered at me. I looked at his cab number & repeated it to myself all the way to work so that i could file a complaint with his fleet owner. Normally this isn't something i would do, but there was absolutely no reason for him to completely cut me off & force me to fall into traffic.

I repeated his cab number all the way here & then when i looked at my seat assignment for the night, the cab number jumped out of my head. I didn't have time to think clearly enough to write the number down. There's not really anything i can do now but nurse my sore wrist & battered knee. I am SO MAD that the accident ripped a huge hole into a basically new pair of Dickies & now my knee is purple & bleeding.

gah. It was only 4 characters. I remember there was a 2 in it... he was a skinny Indian guy... yeah, i'm just gonna have to suck this one up. I was having such a nice day up to that point.

This weekend is bursting bursting full.

FRIDAY: Bruncheroo in Bed-Stuy 1:30pm
Later afternoon, Anyone want to go see Coraline in 3-d?
Evening: Mysterious boyfriend plan, maybe poke Santos for details.
Dinner in a tasty convenient place, TBD
10/11pm: FREE Little Boots Show at Studio B
http://clubstudiob.com/calendar.html/23513-little-boots

SATURDAY: Noon: the Winter Jam at East River Park
http://www.nycgovparks.org/sub_things_to_do/events/winterjam/
Outdoor winter fun. Does spiked apple cider in a thermos count as an open container of alcohol?
AFTERNOON: City Bakery for Bourbon Hot Chocolate, Batch for fancy schmancy cupcakes.
Lunch, dinner anyone?
SATURDAY NIGHT: AWESOME PARTY AT CAKE SHOP
http://cake-shop.com/calendar/
QxBxRx Queer Dance Party with live bands. Get there between 11pm-12am for a $5 cover and FREE BOOZE. After, cover is $8.

SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY
More brunch plans to catch the scragglers.
10PM: ART FAG PARTY at Bowery Electric
Get there between 10-11 for drinks, PRINT THIS FLYER:
http://www.theboweryelectric.com/images/artfag_flyer.pdf
to get in for free. They're handing out Art Fag pins & i'm sure all of you could use one of those. ;)

So yeah, there are my birthday plans. If you can make it to at least one, it will be great. If not, what kind of hermit are you?? In that case, we'll do something sloth-y & decadent soon.

Dear Friends,

If you are in the NY area this weekend, i have a plan of many birthday funs! I'll be attending a slew of free & cheap events during several time slots because i know my lovely friends are busy people with crazy schedules & hopefully you will have at least one chance to come let me give you a hugs. No matter what the government says, this is a recession so presents are unnecessary, just bring your lovely selves.

The weather is going to be gorgeous this weekend! Over 50 degrees on Sunday, so no excuses! Brunches, dinners, art galleries, outdoor fun, hot chocolate & sweaty club dancing are all in the mix.
If you're a true homebody or very unsocial, then we can go see Coraline. :) I'll list a tentative schedule here or on Facebook or somethin...

Hoping to see your pretty faces soon,
Jess

Shakespeare had to kill Romeo & Juliet. Neither he nor his audience could have borne listening to them argue about estates or mundane dinner plans.

Definite love is a solid, subtle occurrence. Love is the firm ground that stands after the dust of passion settles.

I wish i'd figured this out sooner.

Is it a sign?

Jeffrey McDaniel is reading in my hometown on my birthday. Hmmm...

I took a long weekend off for my birthday & i'm always inclined toward travel. Counting pennies, pennies...

It's the name that's on all our lips today.

It's all quite spectacular.

Soak it up.

Tonight is the eve of a big day...tomorrow...o, man.